I spent eight hours trying to program my cookies
in C and it turned out I needed Javascript.
Friggin' Muppet.
(Michael Sheinbaum)
was walking by a small stream when, sitting on a nearby toadstool, he
noticed a sad, sad looking frog.
"What's wrong with you?" said the priest
"Well," said the frog, "the reason I am so sad on this fine day is
because I wasn't always a frog".
"Really!" said the priest. "Can you explain?"
"Once upon a time I was an 11-year-old Choirboy at your very church. I
too was walking by this stream when I was confronted by the wicked witch
of the forest.
'Let me pass!' I cried, but to no avail. She called me a cheeky little
boy and with a flash of her hand, turned me into the frog you now see
before you."
"That's an incredible story!" said the priest. "Is there no way of
reversing the witch's spell?"
"Yes," said the frog. "It is said that if a nice kind person would
pick me up, take me home, give me food and warmth and a good night's sleep, I
will wake up as a boy again."
"Today's your lucky day!" said the priest, and forthwith picked up the
frog and took him home. He gave him lots of food, placed him by the fire,
and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him. And, lo! miracle of
miracles, when he awoke the next morn, there was the 11 year old Choirboy
beside him in bed.
And that, my lord, is the case for the Defence.
That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize, the other ! night, with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye and I was a bit surprised me self! You know, he's only been there twice! Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.